You know when you’re drowning, you don’t actually inhale until right before you black out. It’s called voluntary apnea. It’s like no matter how much you’re freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won’t open your mouth until you feel like your head’s exploding. But then when you finally do let it in, that’s when it stops hurting. It’s not scary anymore. It’s - it’s actually kind of peaceful.
if you stare at me in public my self esteem will drop 100%
All the single ladies
step one, discredit the witnesses. step two, introduce a new suspect.
step three, w e b u r y t h e e v i d e n c e .
- There are times where I’d like to belong… Does that sound funny?
- Not to me. Not at all.
What Really Happened: Purple Wedding
Conceal, don’t feel.
this is honestly still the funniest thing i have ever seen
that’s freakin’ amazing considering how heavy his front paws must be
i want to be so famous that people misspell my name just so it can be their url